I want to succeed.  I want to feel good at the end – you know, like I really wanted what I gave up but feel great that I was able to keep my promise.  Blogging was an option but that just seems mean.  (to me)  Facebook would be a good alternative but then I’d miss seeing all my friends that don’t blog.  I should give up Criminal Minds because it gives me nightmares but it’s just SO good – I’d surely fail at that.

Instead, 2 things.  Every morning, I will stretch and reflect on the blessings in my life.  There’s nothing bad about being more bendy and I really do have that much to be grateful for.  And I will not drink any brown soda.  This one isn’t hard, as I don’t drink much soda now but it’s something, right?  I realize this doesn’t mean much to Jesus and I certainly can’t give my brown soda to the poor (part of the meaning of Lent) but I will give to the Food Bank before Easter.  – $$ and food donation. So…3 things.

These are my sacrifice(s).  Not much.  But doable.  I’ll be proud of myself on Easter morning!  As a non-catholic, I think this is pretty good.  Welcome to Ash Wednesday. 

You?

Don’t get me wrong, she’s practically perfect.  Even delicious.  But boy does she try to make me admit I’m old and impatient and slow and tired.  She breaks crayons.  She throws her waffle on the floor when she’s had enough.  She has somehow forgotten what “no” means – unless she’s saying it to me.  She’s stingy with her hugs & kisses.  She’ll ask for something once – after that, she’ll demand it.

At the same time, she has learned her manners.  She says please & thank you.  She even says “scuse me” when she needs you to move or when she makes an unattractive noise from her body.

But then she’ll throw her shoe at me from the backseat of the car.  Or turn over her bowl of oatmeal when I ask her to finish.  Or she’ll take the sheets of her bed, knowing I’ll make it 3 times and give up on her nap.

Normal?  A bit too sassy?  Any tips that will help my old, impatient, tired self?

Sassy Pants

This holiday is way more about my love to watch HER than it is for her.  But in a couple of years, she’ll be all over it!  (ya know, with that great shoebox WE make for class!)  I seriously can’t wait until she’s old enough for ding dong ditch.  You did that too, right?  – dropped your valentine, rang the doorbell and ran away?  I suppose that could be a Utah thing…

Anyway, here’s some of our love to you.

Out the Window

(Im)patiently Waiting

Love

To Cristy who is patient and kind, I love & appreciate all that you are! I hope you like your new sunglasses, as I will surely like my new cupboard television that will always be stationed to foodnetwork.  (this will highly benefit you)
To Glory who is hardly patient but usually kind, I am so proud to be your mommy and love you full up!  You are my dream come true and every day with you is an honor.  I celebrate you today enough to also include your birthmom.  Thank you always, birthmom.
To my family – some I see, some I don’t – I hold you tightly wherever I walk and I’m grateful every minute for old lessons and new.
To Gracie who seems far away, especially on holidays, I hope your shoe box is filled with treats and you bring them home in your new glitter bag.  I love you with all my heart.
And to my friends and those that surround me, I love, love love you and thank you for always being there.  I’m a lucky girl.

Roses are Cars
Violets are Buckets
This poem makes no Sense
Boobs

I read that on facebook somewhere and it made me laugh.  – my kind of poetry. 

Here are some delicious photos of my morning glory this last week.  xoxoxo.

Far too excited about her new shoes!

Gazing at the Elephants

Me & My Valentine

That kind of patriotism fills me right up!

I’ve never really followed the games all the way through.  Sometimes I’ll watch the downhill skiing.  Sometimes a hockey game.  Ice skating, for sure.  In the summer I like watching diving.  And I love gymnastics.  But it’s not about the sports for me.  I think it’s beautiful that for a couple of weeks, all those countries can gather in the same place and appreciate something about each other.

10 years ago I went to the final practice of the Opening Ceremonies.  One by one, each represented country came skating in with their flag.  We both cried through the whole thing.  It was magical.  I’ll never forget the energy in our little city.  I want it back.  And why can’t we have it back?  We already have all the structures. It should be an easy sell.

Ten years ago…

The final vote was quick and lovely.  Just like that - it will be sent to the Governor who will sign it and make the State of Washington the 7th across the land to grant full quality.  Just like that, Washington jumped five steps ahead to places I would like to live.

All afternoon I dreamed about living somewhere … else.  I no longer have that itch inside me to make things right around here.  Is it wrong that I feel like I’ve put in my time and I’m ready to live somewhere where someone has already done the work for me?  Sure it takes away the pride but God knows it’s been a rough ride and we’re nowhere closer, sadly.

Anyway, three cheers for WA!  3 cheers for the west coast this week!  And 3 cheers for all the folks that did all the work so a girl like me can, one day, move to a more friendly part of the Kingdom.

… I should also mention that, while I was intently listening to all the online love, my “napping” daughter was painting her bedroom with hair oil and lotion.  All of her long-haired stuffies and now, most certainly, moisturized.

As someone who married in the 2008 window, the validation feels fantastic.  But even more importantly, as someone who believes in equality for ALL people, it’s another step in a very good direction.

It will be appealed and, most likely, sent to the SCOTUS.  They could turn the case back and make CA the next state to grant marriage equality (unless WA and MD beat them!) or they could hold it and decide whether or not they agree with Judge Walker.  Hard to say what to wish for… unless…

I’ve always been a builder.  “If you build it….” bla bla bla.  One state at a time and we’re already to six.  (& DC)  & 5 that offer Civil Unions.  That’s a pretty big deal in just more than a decade.  I’m not saying we should ever accept crumbs but marriage equality (in any state) is No crumb. I remember when VT first approved Civil Unions and you had one side mad that they didn’t wait for marriage and the other side mad that they were jumping too quickly.  But they gave others permission to jump – others like, CT, DE, NH and even IOWA. Iowa!  …still surprises me.

At the same time, this could be our chance.  Just imagine the Supreme’s ruling Prop 8 unconstitutional.  Imagine it just for a minute. Lawsuits filed instantly in the leftover states and most succumbing to the fact that they can’t bully any longer – that it’s time to put down their dukes and join the parade.  1 by 1, the coasts creep toward each other in a beautiful shade of (democratic) blue.  Lovely, just lovely.

It’s a great time to be alive.  It’s a great time to watch the landscape change from coast to coast.  It’s a great time to stop for a minute and think about all those before us, who worked tirelessly in a much harsher environment, and thank them – especially those that haven’t lived to see this day.

So goes California… !

I got up at midnight to make sure she was covered.  This baby – half in and half out – is what I found.

Have I told you lately that I love her?

After two years, their maternal grandparents finally gained custody of the boys.  Last week, they won another round – the boys would remain safely with them.  Their father would have only supervised visits.

Today, a caseworker delivered the boys to their fathers newly rented home.  He let the boys, pushed the caseworker off the porch and slammed & locked the door.  She smelled gas.  And just seconds later, an explosion ripped through the house.

He murdered his wife.  Then he murdered his children.

My heart is broken for the parents of Susan Powell.

But I imagine them now – sitting in her arms.  Reunited after far too long.

And him, somewhere else.  Somewhere far enough away to never cross their minds.

God bless this family.

But this year is so different.  We’ve had hardly any snow.  Most people love this but not me.  I wish we were swimming in it.  And worse, once summer gets here and our lakes aren’t full, we’ll all be sad about our empty winter.  Lucky for us (just kidding), the air is holding it’s promise.  blech!

Anyway, in case you need a little lift, I’ll share some of my favorite photos from the last few days.  Each is filled with love and LOVE is what February is really all about.

Gettin' jiggy with Yay Yay!

He loves me - He love me not...

Smile as big as the sky!

Afro hat, extension pieces, bracelets - I'm ALL girl!

We all scream for ICE cream!