** I’m obviously being much more open with this new blog. I want to keep from posting privately as much as possible. & as much as I trust all of you that I know, I know there are just as many that I don’t. If you know someone in my family, know that this is all very personal for us.
Just before I left my house Friday night, I got a text from a stranger. Well, not a total stranger but someone who’s (new) # wasn’t recognized by my phone and someone I hadn’t heard from in almost 8 months. It was my dad. All these months later and just when I have a week of deciding I need to really move on from thinking it’s going to shift… he writes.
I admit I got excited. I thought, “maybe he’s finally realizing, with Christmas here, that his family is important and he really does want
me us.” He asked if I would “care to chat” sometime over the weekend. My answer was yes. But then it turned in to a series of text messages that just bagged on my mom or didn’t make sense at all. His last message said that he “loved seeing Glory” last Sunday but the rest of it was proof that he was drinking – a Lot.
I finally wrote that the issues about my mom were none of my busines and really just between them. I acknowledged his comment about Glory and said I was sure she loved seeing him too. Then I said if he wanted to talk about his relationship with me, I’d like that.
Nothing. Nothing since late LAST Friday night.
So now what? After reading your comments last week (& a conversation with my yodad), I realized that giving up isn’t an option. For my mom’s sake, for my family and just honoring the first 40 years of my life – I won’t quit. But I also feel foolish for thinking the text was something better. I don’t want to get my hopes up. I didn’t tell my mom or brother about the texts because it would’ve given them hope too. Ugh. It’s just tiring.
The next day was our family party. My nephew asked my mom if his grandpa would be home on Christmas Day. She sent my dad a text with the question and his answer was simply, “no.”