Tell Me, Are You a Christian Child? …

… and I said, “Ma’am, I am tonight!”

I had a conversation with a young person the other night. – just a random Monday day where I accidentally left on my fb chat.  Anyway, she asked if I believed in God and then how I reconciled the Bible with my sinning ways sexual orientation.

I used to get this question more often when I was working.  I guess that’s because I was around more strangers but even this person knows I’m Christian.  Or at least in her words, “that I love Jesus.”

Anyway, it’s not hard for me to answer and that’s usually where I get most of the backlash.  It’s easy for me.  I believe that Jesus was the son of God – a perfect person who came here and lived to show me how to live my best life.  For me, it’s the answer to my questions.  He gave me an imperfect path, directly back to him.  I don’t feel like I have any check lists to accomplish.  I don’t feel like I need to go to temple or be baptized or even attend church.  I don’t need a bishop or priest or prophet to tell me what to do because I already have my example.  I’m doing my best, most days.  I learn from my mistakes.  I give back.  I teach what I know and listen to new things.  But, most of all, I love my family & friends with all my heart.

If you’ve been reading me long enough, you know that I fell in love with Jesus through Tammy Faye and the PTL Club.  I was eleven or so and I would listen to the songs and watch the dripping mascara and just ache to believe in something that much.  It was the love, the compassion, the sacrifice, the devotion.  …not the Bible.  It turned out that Tammy had her own demons (don’t we all) but she was amazing enough to reach in to the heart of a little girl and give her enough “want” to keep searching.

I didn’t really learn about the Bible until well into my 20’s.  I read it.  Twice.  I didn’t just want to be able to say that I read it, I wanted it to add something to my faith.  It didn’t.  & maybe I’m jaded but it… didn’t.  I did find relevant lessons and certainly, things to live by.  I was always interested in the words in red because those were when Jesus was speaking.  Sadly, that wasn’t very often.

The Bible is a book written by man and, while there are some great lessons in it, I don’t take any of it as more than story.  Maybe that’s because it’s used against me so much.  But not just me.  It causes war.  Death.  And sure, you could tell me that it’s man who causes these things.  Agreed.  But it’s also men who wrote the book and they wrote it over and over again for centuries and added parts and took away others.  They may have “quoted” Jesus but we all know what happens when something is repeated more than once.  It’s enough reason for me to set it aside and just wait for the real thing.

Anyway, I know it’s not a popular thing to talk about but it seems there’s always someone who needs to hear it.
Someone special thinks I’m special.
Someone (fact or fiction) made enough effort to come here and die for me so I could be imperfect and live again.
Someone left enough of a mark in special people that it continues to give others reason to grow & love & live.

No matter who you are, no matter what mistakes you’ve made – you are loved and getting it right is just a change of direction. Deep breath.  Slow down.  Look up.  Begin again.

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8 comments on “Tell Me, Are You a Christian Child? …

  1. Just wanted to say, that I loved your entry.
    I’m a christian, not gay, but I love gay people with all my heart.
    I think the Bible is important and so the law is, but god’s love is greater than law and salvation doesn’t come from attending church or reading the bible, it’s a gift.
    I believe that god loves you and that you’re blessed and there’s nothing in the bible or anything someone could say or do to minus god’s love for you.
    lg

  2. I’m actually athiest. I have wanted to believe but I can’t. I’ve been to many different churches wtih the christian range, I’ve studied with the Mormons and even the moonies (yup, I spend a few months with the learning their twist on the subject) among others. I respect, and sometimes envy, those who believe, and more so those with a brain to think for themselves.

    Whether fact or fiction or a combination of both, the Bible was not always written word. It was an oral telling over and over by many and then written down as an interpretation by a few (and revised a few times) and then translated into different and still evolving languages so to think of it as word for word rules, it cant be, no matter how stronly you believe. The link below is a good one as it looks at the main verse used to condemn gays if taken exactly as written but then goes on to other verses on ‘sins’ that are very common and greatly accepted.

    http://fallwell.com/ingnored%20old%20testament%20verses.html

    There are others who look at the bible, verse for verse, chapter for chapter to show how bad the entire world is and how everyone should be condemned if this is what we have to go by.

  3. Hutch says:

    I love hearing you talk about your spiritual beliefs.

  4. I was walking in Memphis… thanks for getting that in my head.

    Nice post. I often wondered how you came to believe.

  5. Lauren says:

    If all Christians believed this simply, the world would be a far better place. “do unto others as you would have done unto you” and the rest is taken care of. simple. Thanks for posting this.

  6. Mama J says:

    I feel like these are the words I’ve been searching for. I feel questioned at times and doubtful at others, but yet still in my heart and with all my being I believe in Him. My prayers are answered most often and I find comfort all the time in just praying and having my own personal relationship with Him. I’m SO thankful I found your blog, definitely have a new follower. 🙂

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