2 or 1?

My baby girl is about to turn 3.  I know, I’m just as shocked as you are.  We’ll be heading to San Diego again in July so that’s where the majority if her celebration will take place.  However, before we go, I’d like to celebrate with family.

Last year, around the time, the news of my “new family” was pretty new – atleast to my dad. (RJ)  My mom was still panicked about the whole thing and my brother was beside himself – just trying to keep it together.  It made perfect sense that we hold 2 seperate parties for Glory.  One for my mom’s side & one for my dad’s.

This year, I’m unsure.

I’m blogging because I’m sure I have readers who come from split families.  50% of marriages end in divorce so surely some of you have had to deal with this kind of situation.  What do you do?  Do you seriously have 2 parties every year so your parents don’t have to see each other?  Or do they play nice and comfy and make it work for the kids?

I’m not trying to be difficult and certainly don’t want to push anyone toward a place that feels uncomfortable.  Honestly, 2 parties are hard to plan and because we’re leaving town so soon after, the timing is extra hard.

I’m considering planning one party, inviting everyone, and see who shows up.   But I worry a whole portion of my family won’t.

Thoughts?

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This entry was posted in Family.

9 comments on “2 or 1?

  1. Amanda says:

    As someone who comes from a split family as a child and who now has to balance between my family that lives 3 hours away from us and DW’s family who live 3 miles from us, I say go with the 1 party. We held 2 first birthday parties for Little Monster because we did not want to “inconvenience” anyone by having to drive the 3 hours to the other area if we held it at the other family’s location. Although it came out well, it was SO MUCH WORK and aggravation planning, paying for, and hosting 2 separate parties. Granted it was in December, amidst the holiday craziness, and DW just happened to be graduating from grad school that same weekend…still without all the add-ons the 2 parties would have been hectic in itself.

    Following a brutal divorce and custody battle, I thought my parents would NEVER be in the same room with each other, but by the time I was 9 or so, they had come to a peace with each other that allowed for get togethers that involved both in attendance. After the grandkids started coming, it got to the point of us even celebrating holidays together even though my Mom had remarried and Dad was actively dating. Imagine mom, stepdad, dad, and dad girlfriend all in the kitchen preparing Thanksgiving dinner while us 3 grown kids chatted with 3 grown step siblings and all together 11 grandchildren running around…yes that was a sight, lol, but it worked and everyone got to bask in parent/grandparent/grandchildren time!

    Glory is worth it, if they really love her, they will put aside the adult drama and show up. Good luck!!!

  2. kjandthekids says:

    I was wondering how your mom and yo dad were doing with this whole thing. Will your brother not be around your new family ?
    hmm. Well, it’s not like Glory wouldn’t love having more than 1 party 🙂

  3. Cris says:

    my vote is for two parties…..why try to throw this family together?….don’t do it I have been divorced for 25 years and I still do not speak to my ex…..I do not have to…..so if my children have one party and invite both of us (that would never happen with my daughter because she has nothing to do with her bio dad, he has never laid eyes on her three children) however my son is a different story…..if his father is invited I just dont go that is my choice to do so I am not his friend we are ex’s for a reason……as if yet my son has not invited his father to anything that he has invited me or my daughter to……but you do what you want…..my vote again is two parties….

  4. Cris says:

    oh and another thing your parents are not divorced…..it is a whole different ball game……

  5. Merr says:

    Two parties would be fun but will get old after a few years. We have had the same issues with my family. I decided to only have one party, invite everyone, and whoever comes comes. If loved ones can’t set aside their differences for one day to celebrate a child who has no idea about those differences, then they need to grow up! My own personal opinion!

  6. Cris says:

    Merr I agree with you HOWEVER I will not put myself in that place……

  7. Amanda says:

    As someone who comes from a split family as a child and who now has to balance between my family that lives 3 hours away from us and DW’s family who live 3 miles from us, I say go with the 1 party. We held 2 first birthday parties for Little Monster because we did not want to “inconvenience” anyone by having to drive the 3 hours to the other area if we held it at the other family’s location. Although it came out well, it was SO MUCH WORK and aggravation planning, paying for, and hosting 2 separate parties. Granted it was in December, amidst the holiday craziness, and DW just happened to be graduating from grad school that same weekend…still without all the add-ons the 2 parties would have been hectic in itself.

    Following a brutal divorce and custody battle, I thought my parents would NEVER be in the same room with each other, but by the time I was 9 or so, they had come to a peace with each other that allowed for get togethers that involved both in attendance. After the grandkids started coming, it got to the point of us even celebrating holidays together even though my Mom had remarried and Dad was actively dating. Imagine mom, stepdad, dad, and dad girlfriend all in the kitchen preparing Thanksgiving dinner while us 3 grown kids chatted with 3 grown step siblings and all together 11 grandchildren running around…yes that was a sight, lol, but it worked and everyone got to bask in parent/grandparent/grandchildren time!

    Glory is worth it, if they really love her, they will put aside the adult drama and show up. Good luck!!!

  8. Stacy says:

    I agree with Merr too. One of my mom’s sisters is kinda a witch, and doesn’t speak to my mom. But she does love the girls and tolerates us. lol So when we have parties we just invite everyone and if they show up, they show up. If they don’t, it’s their loss.

  9. Tyffany says:

    I vote for one party and then don’t worry about who shows up and who doesn’t. She’ll still have people who love her there to celebrate with her. There’s no reason to make life more difficult for you, it’s a happy occasion after all!

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